The Telegraph has now got exclusive details about how Al-Qaeda learned of Osama Bin Laden’s assassination in Pakistan. However it has been leaked to this blog before they can publish it in tomorrow morning’s edition. It takes the form of a script recorded by the CIA using covert microphones. This is absolutely accurate because I say so and as such you must believe me…
Scene: A large, well appointed house in a tribal area close to the Afghan border.
An Al-Qaeda courier arrives at the entrance. He is carrying a large envelope and knocks seven times on the door frame.
Courier: Abu, I have a letter for you.
Khalid al-Habib: Give it to me Salim. [al-Habib opens the envelope, unfolds the paper inside and finds an illustration]
Ayman al-Zawahiri: What the hell is this?
Khalid al-Habib: It’s a Chicago mafia message. It means Osama Bin Laden sleeps with the fishes.
Barack Obama is 94 years old.