Tory attempt to steal the general election exposed

Following the local election results and the media’s coverage of UKIP’s resounding victory this week, it has emerged the Tories have made a formal application to the Electoral Commission to exclude all 2015 general election results from central London when determining the seat tally and which party will be invited to form the next government.

Conservative Party spokesman, Crispian Keswick-Grantham explained the move:

We have learned the lessons of this election. UKIP’s stunning win, congratulations to them, has taught us that London really has no part to play in elections.

We are a one nation party and we are listening to the people of this nation. It has become clear that educated, cultural and media savvy voters are not really part of this nation and have no understanding of what is important to the country outside the M25. Therefore their votes should not be included in May 2015.  We are at one with UKIP and the media on this, including London votes makes no sense.

Keswick-Grantham rejected claims this was just a cyncial ploy driven by Labour’s substantial support in the capital and the Tories’ lack of popularity, and an effort to prevent Labour MPs being returned to Parliament – thereby ensuring the media declares the Conservatives the election winners regardless of their actual vote and seat tally.

That is a baseless and laughable accusation, but one we considered might be made by Labour sympathisers.  To demonstrate there is no such attempt on our part and that we are taking an even handed approach to this idea, we have extended the scope of the exclusion in our application to cover Scotland too.

We attempted to ask Nigel Farage for his reaction to this breaking story, but were informed by a UKIP spokesman that it was already past opening time and he would have to get back to us.

4 Responses to “Tory attempt to steal the general election exposed”

  1. 1 theonlygoodeuisadeadeu 24/05/2014 at 6:09 pm

    Para 2 ‘explained the move’ should have been a hyperlink to The Samaritans website.

  2. 2 AM's an Arse 26/05/2014 at 9:32 am

    Have you had time yet to think about how you’re going to spin UKIP’s history-making victory in a national poll? Look forward to you yelling us exactly why it’s really a failure, UKIP people are all stupid, you really don’t act out of personal animosity towards Farage and that you are the only one with all the answers. It shouldn’t take you long as it’s the same format as just about every UKIP-related post you write.

  3. 3 Rimax 26/05/2014 at 7:30 pm

    Your final paragraph in this article really was a ‘cheap shot’.

  4. 4 Autonomous Mind 27/05/2014 at 10:45 am

    With your use of inverted commas I’m wondering if you’re making a gag. If you are, beer is indeed a relatively cheap shot now.

    If not, one is tempted to ask if all those photos of Farage posing with pint glass in hand are cheap shots too? Too many criticisms seem reserved for those who argue Farage could and should have done much better and despite this apparent success is actually setting UKIP up to fail.

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