This is not a post anyone should have to write. It is an intensely personal posting because it concerns what is happening within my family right now. It is less of a story and more a need to simply get off my chest a current and ongoing experience of dealings with the NHS. Sorry if it seems a bit disjointed.
A couple of years ago a male member of my family was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. As time has passed his memory and physical condition has progressively worsened as this awful illness has taken its toll. Recently it became clear he was unwell with a separate illness and in need of medical treatment. His wonderful wife, a formidably experienced senior nurse with over 30 years of service until she retired, suspected an infection and also noted symptoms of diabetes.
In Alzheimer’s sufferers any infection can be disastrous and dramatically worsen the condition. The diabetes effects would also compound the condition. So his wife got an urgent GP appointment. After an examination it became clear he needed to go to hospital for treatment and he was admitted immediately. This is when the story takes a turn for the worse.
The initial hours after admission saw our family member put on IV drips to combat the infection and started on insulin as diabetes was confirmed. He became increasingly confused and emotional which, of course, was devastating enough for his devoted wife. Nevertheless given her own prior experience of the NHS she had complete trust in the clinical team to do everything needed to help her husband. It’s the way she and her nursing teams worked after all. He was duly admitted to a ward, where he remains to this day.
Within a couple of days of her husband being sent up to the ward it became clear there was a problem and the standard of care in the hospital was nothing like the one she had provided during her career. Being used to ensuring the highest levels of cleanliness, patient care and dignity for those people on wards for which she was responsible, she has since been moved to tears of frustration by what can only be described as substandard care by less than capable staff. Her daily morning phone calls prior to visiting hours have always resulted in reassuring words from the staff that her husband had experienced a comfortable night and was ‘fine’. But upon arrival for her visits it was clear that has rarely been the case.
Our family member has been losing weight noticably in the last week because it transpires he has been difficult to feed and the nursing staff move on to other tasks. Recent attempts to get some of his oral medication into him have also been unsuccessful and led to him getting into an agitated state and not taking the required dose at times – something I thought could not happen. These incidents are concerning enough, but what I am about to write has led to real anger among the family members.
In one of his more lucid moments a couple of days ago he recognised his need to go to the toilet and asked to go. His wife asked for help so she could move him to the toilet. However, she was told by the nurse on duty that he was wearing incontinence pants and to just leave him and let him soil himself. This is a complete abdication of a nurse’s duty to help a patient retain their dignity and as you could imagine his wife was shocked and furious. It is appalling and extremely distressing.
Earlier this evening saw yet another example of the depths to which the modern NHS has sunk. On arrival for the strictly controlled visiting hours she noticed her husband was showing signs of discomfort and a raised temperature. Having called the nurse and explained she was concerned and would like his temperature checked, she was told by the nurse: ‘No, it’s ok, we checked him earlier and he’s fine.’ at which point the nurse turned and started to walk away. Most people without medical training would have just accepted this on trust. Thankfully our patient’s wife did not, and with a raised voice demanded the nurse get a thermometer and take his temperature straight away. She is the matriarch of our family but a gentle and compassionate woman and it takes a lot for her to show the aggression she was forced to display. This should not have been necessary.
After a display of poor attitude – huffing and puffing – betraying the sense that this demand was unreasonable and an inconvenience, the check revealed this old, confused and sickly man is running a temperature of just under 102, indicating a deterioration of the infection or a new condition in need of attention. He was admitted to hospital to get better, but instead his condition has worsened and his wife is being forced to fight with clinical staff just to get them to do the basics of their job. Despite these family members having worked hard all their lives and paid their fair share into the system, this is how they are being treated by the supposed ‘envy of the world’. Her faith in the NHS has been destroyed.
As you can imagine, she is now terrified of going home and not being there to monitor her husband and his treatment, ensure he is getting food and being administered the necessary medication. She has now found herself in the middle of a battle to get basic care and dignity for her husband from the NHS nurses on his ward. It really has come to something when a passionate and vocal supporter of the NHS finds it has become a shadow of what it was and what it claims to be and is begging to be able to take her husband home so she can give him the care he deserves and should be experiencing.
This is the tragic and unacceptable reality of today’s NHS for too many people. But too few families want to make a fuss or know how to stand their ground against the healthcare professionals they rely on to look after their loved ones when instinct tells them something is not right. It shouldn’t be this way. Who is going to stand up for these people and ensure they get the standard of care they are entitled to? This may just be a private family tragedy unfolding, but up and down the country many other families are experiencing similar. It’s a bloody disgrace.
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